THE SPARK / or shall I say, the sprout
It was a chilly August afternoon and I remember the unfolding of events so well.
I was busy working on a deadline for the following day, but felt a little under pressure and ‘out of control’ so I did what I used to do / still sometimes do when I feel like that.
I enter into a perfectionism-fit.
You start washing dishes, spring clean that drawer that has been annoying you the past few weeks, sweep the already swept kitchen or start putting things in straight lines.
If organizing things isn’t enough of a ‘fix’- you start with sorting out the nearest and dearest human around you - in my case this afternoon, my husband.
Last months washing that wasn’t placed in the laundry basket or a week ago’s milk that he didn’t put back in the fridge after making his coffee, or that time he …. or he didn’t….
It is basically just a desperate attempt to make you feel in control of something or someone, because there is something in your hands that you feel like you can’t control. That deadline.
I don't like feeling out of control. For the most of the time. I am still learning to surrender.
Out of the blue, as if my ‘fit' was invisible - my husband asks me if I would like to join him for his supper ‘meeting’ with a couple who's wedding he will be capturing soon.
I gave him one of my perfectionism-fit looks and asked him sarcastically if it looks like I have time for supper and smalltalk… and dragged myself back behind my laptop.
As I looked at my screen and saw the reflection of my silhouette , there was a still small voice that whispered - “Go.”
Go? Go where? Can’t you see I have a deadline still small voice. Didn’t you just see that whirlwind of grasping for a sense of grip?
…softly, patiently, kindly. - “Go.”
I know this still small voice and I know that when He speaks - I should listen.
Whether I am on a deadline, a death bed or in the midst of grocery shopping - the still small voice always knows what the wise thing is to do.
So I listened. In spite of not being finished with my deadline and in spite of feeling overwhelmed in my post-perfectionism-fit-introvert coma - I joined my husband for his supper meeting.
In contrast with the chilly winter weather outside and my cold afternoon attitude - we were met with two exceptionally warm hearted humans. Caitlin and Simon.
For me, there was no small talk - as what unfolded over the table through thoughtful conversation and sharing of hearts and passions - was nothing short of big talk. Words that set things in motion.
Soon to become my nutritionsprout.
It was like God has been laying down little pieces of wood, carefully and intentionally all my life and knew that this conversation, with this gentle human will be the spark to slowly set my heart on fire for the journey ahead. And that is why he nudged me earlier… “Go.”
Both of us were surprised and aflutter by our intentional connection of hearts that are passionate, yet broken for the very same cause.
The wellbeing of us as women, and the women around us.
What was suppose to be a couple meeting their wedding photographer ( and his dragged along wife ) - became the very beginning of something bigger than my heart could ever dream of.
Caitlin is a qualified integrative health/holistic coach and through her wealth of knowledge from her own health journey and her honest care - she has been playing a very integral part of my wellness journey over the past few months.
I honor her for her gentle being, warm heart, passion for women and her unconditional care that has changed me on so many levels - and keeps on changing me.
As we have been walking and sharing our journeys, we finally took the leap of faith to voice what have been on our hearts individually for a very long time : to create a platform that support women in their wellness and wellbeing.
We are in the process of fleshing out this calling to share and connect with women of all walks of life. Women who dare to go slow and far, instead of fast and alone.
Women who desire to live a life of abundance - spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Women who not only want to change their own lives, but let their change transcend to other women around them.
We’re all in this together.
If you want to know more about Caitlin and her wellness journey, follow along @nutritionsprout .
Ps. She recently embarked on a month of a digital detox and I will be sharing her reflective thoughts on my journal soon.